Tag Archives: love

Aside

The Walking Dead, saison 1I am a major fan of The Walking Dead. I’m not usually into zombies, but something about this show seems to do it for me. For all those who watch, the characters (those not yet undead) are faced with the choice between embracing the death growing inside them or living with the hope that life is still good and worth living . Some choose to dive into this world of walking death with full force, capitulating to its apparent hopelessness and choosing to leave their lives of kindness, generosity and trust behind. Others remain hopeful, seeking to treat the people they meet as they would like to be treated (welcoming them, killing off zombies for them, etc). This sort is the minority.

The main character on The Walking Dead, at least for now, is a man named Rick. He is the leader of a group of survivors (folks who have yet to fall prey to the zombie apocalypse), and is often forced to make decisions as to whether or not he should welcome strangers in or cast them away to fend for themselves. More often than not (as of late) Rick trusts no one, tending to throw others out into the streets rather than welcome them in (as had been previously done for him twice before).

The more time that goes by, the more survivors fall victim to the death that is permeating the world. Rick and his companions are fighting a losing battle, constantly struggling to make it through another day.  All the while folks are being driven to insanity, losing the version of themselves that would stick out their neck for a person to whom they had no particular allegiance.

Our pre-apocalyptic world is not so different. So many of us wake up without expectation, without hope. Our day ends with the swipe of our brow and a prayer of thanks that God got us through another one. We don’t seem to live for the thrill that somehow our whole wretched existence might just be turned upside-down. In fact, most of the decisions we make have a desired outcome of creating a more comfortable life.

Many, if not most people are in search of stability. There’s a steady longing for peace and certainty that comes with being human, but it seems to me that the life God has invited us into is not quite so stable. It is clearly more dangerous to embrace a life of faith, to believe that love is worth it. It killed Jesus, and it’s been known to kill one too many Walking Dead characters.

The way of love and non-judgment (a.k.a the narrow way) is as difficult as it gets. It doesn’t take much to inflict pain, to go along with the way world bends, to treat others as you have been treated, but loving others as you would like to be loved is a fight against the tide. You will often meet resistance in the form of distrust, since many previously unloved folks are accustomed to being treated like they are an inconvenience, or conversely, a charity case. Not only that, but the folks who “know the truth” will try to tell you that your fight is futile and that the work has already been done for you. They will insist that you are trying to earn some sort of favor with God, rather than understanding that you are just trying to take that Jesus guy seriously.

Fact is, there is hope all around us. There are people who would rather die than kill and seek the good of folks around them at the cost of their own comfort. In a world where death sits on the throne, for me the only way to live is as a conscientious objector. Our rebel king gave us a Way, not just a new fairy tale to believe in so we can feel settled as the storms come.  I say bring on the storms! Somehow life will always break through, and I want to be a part of the kingdom that fights fire with water, not a passenger waiting for my ship to come save me from the treacherous waters.

Maybe in the end Rick and his friends will realize that their existence is not worth holding onto until they have given up the fight to stay alive. Self preservation is one of our worst enemies and it causes us to neglect the people who would enrich our lives the most. Our lives defined by comfort and stability are as life-threatening as the dangers facing the folks in The Walking Dead. May we take risks that will awake us from our zombie-like state.

For more on the kind of life I am trying to describe, read my friend Ryan’s blog here.

-dave-

look alive

Advertisements

my valentine

Standard

as of today, my lilly and i have been together for 14 years, 1 month and 8 days (with an 8 month gap in between, but who’s counting). we met in high school, where she thought she could win me over by playing a game in which she repeated every word i said. somehow, this timeless tactic won me over. i was lovestruck.

we have grown up together. i know her and she knows me more fully than anyone else. despite our familiarity with each other, i still find myself getting excited to see her when she’s been at work all day or am eager to talk with her when she calls me in the middle of one of her long shifts.

unfortunately, it’s also true that familiarity breeds complacency. as such, i’ve been guilty of giving more of myself, showing more love, dispensing more mercy and listening more intently to the folks i serve than to my beloved wife. this is a crime.

it is because i know her so well that i love her. she is compassionate, strong-willed, soft-hearted and brilliant (not to mention, she is way out of my league in the looks department). she has been an inspiration to many, including myself, in the way she has handled the daunting task of processing haitian adoptions. she has spent many sleepless night working to help others in their adoption process, even while ours has been uncertain. it is because i know her and see her heart that i love her so much.

strangely enough, it is because i know her so well that i have been slow to offer my whole self to her, as i have to folks that i’ve barely known, many of whom were part of my life one day and gone the next. my unwitting withholding cannot be attributed to anything she has done, but is a bi-product of losing sight of real love as our time together increases.

lump this together with the great danger looming before anyone who walks in the brand of shoes i have chosen to wear and you have a potential issue with priorities. when you offer yourself up for the sake of others (or at least try to), you are constantly at risk of undervaluing the people you love the most. what’s most damning is that it’s not as though i wasn’t aware of this pitfall. i was always convinced that i wouldn’t make the same mistakes as others who have gone before me. alas, i have committed the same crime. this marital negligence indicts me as a hypocrite, proving me incapable of practicing the long-suffering love of Christ that i have come to know and proclaim.

my advice to others (and myself) is to always be conscious of the fact that it’s easier to “love” someone you barely know. kindness is a luxury we often afford the people we engage with in passing. but my heart belongs to the girl i committed to in the summer of 2003. what i’ve neglected in the past can’t be undone. all i can do now is release the parts of me i’ve been holding back. happy valentine’s day lilly.

-dave-