I came to a pretty humbling realization yesterday.
During worship – after Lynda led us in a time of naming ways in which we’ve found ourselves being drawn closer to and/or further away from God, and Ryan shared powerfully from his experience and search for identity – I came to understand why I set out to plant BCC.
I did it for Jen, Andy, Annabelle and Oliver.
I did it because my father’s last words gave me purpose and confidence.
I did it because my identity has been in a constant state of disruption and adjustment.
I did it because I was tired of feeling alone.
I did it because I was searching for other people who needed a place.
I did it for me.
I thank God for this revelation.
I could have gone on convincing myself that the primary reason we planted this new community was because we were seeking the peace of our city…and that would have been fine. But I think the disruptions have gotten me to a place where I am clear about one very important thing:
If I am not at peace with myself, I’ve got not shot at making peace outside of myself.
God is Good my friends. And you’ve been made in God’s Image. I guess I’m finally beginning to believe the things I’ve been preaching these past few years.